Monday, December 20, 2010

Just Say YES.

You've heard the saying, "Just Say NO." That's for drinking and drugs. In marriage, it's quite the opposite.  Not only is it helpful to get into the habit of saying YES but it's important to be joyful about doing things for your man.  Let take a look at what happens when you're not joyful.

Yesterday afternoon Steven was getting ready for work, and I was reading my favorite blog called The Pioneer Woman.  She had a Word Nerd contest going on, and I wanted to WIN!  I was busy researching the word for when two rivers intersect (confluence), and the name of the oak tree in the Swietokrztskie Mountains in Poland (Bartek), when Steven called out from the bathroom, "Hey Steph do you know where my rain gear is?" Frustrated that he didn't even know where his own stuff was, I lazily called back, "Yeah it's in the blue bag in the closet." Then I hear, "Can you get it for me please?"  I knew he was in a hurry, but in my head I was thinking...BUT BUT BUT.... I'm trying to win WORD NERD!

 I said I would, but kept on researching...oh interesting, ordnance is another word for artillery. Hmm!...

Time ticked on and I heard, "Hey have you made my sandwich yet?"- the one I volunteered to make for him - and that's when I snapped. ARGH!! Can't he do anything himself??? Why do I have to do everything for him?!?!  My retort was (and what a comeback), "Not yet, have you taken out the recycling?" as I'm looking at the overflowing container. Good one.

I found the rain gear, finished 2 sandwiches, and took out the recycling in a huff. He left for work as I stomped back up the stairs to our apartment to return to Word Nerd...on which I eventually gave up.

So let's recap -

I'm the one who volunteered to make him a sandwich.
I'm the queen of the house and I get to organize the closet how I like.

Why was I getting mad at him for asking about something I said I would do? Why was I so frustrated? Well, it really just boils down to the I's. I wanted to finish what I was doing instead of helping him for 5 minutes.  It was PB&J for goodness sakes.

So when your man asks you to do something, say YES but do it joyfully.

Here are some practical exercises for us:

Q: Honey, can you please make me a sandwich?  A: YES!
Q: Babe, can you take me to work? (It's 6:15 am) A: a groggy YES!
Q: Hey, can you do me a favor? A: ANYTHING!

Good. I think you'll be happy with the response you get. :)


  1. When we think of our small inconveniences that happen in marriage it is nothing like what Christ had to deal with (for we have not yet suffered to the point of death). We can do hard things, because we believe in a Savior who did the hardest thing! When we believe on the Savior of our sins, his spirit reminds us of that-so we can joyfully serve our husbands and be a beautiful picture to the world of Christ & his bride. Great post! For that reason I can joyfully serve my husband. Looking forward to more posts sista!

  2. It's these so-called "small things" that you are talking about that amounts to the "huge things" in marriage. If you are working on small things you are working on huge things. I need to always remember that.

  3. I've learned that I often take on too much and volunteer too much and then overwhelm myself. It's important to let your husband do what he can and help when he needs it. When we first got married, I wanted to do EVERYTHING for him since I was so excited to be in that wife role. However, I quickly got burned out and realized that I'm not superwomen and need to take a step back and let him do things too. I was making my self frustrated! It's important to ask for help too and realize that we need nurturing as well! :)

  4. Heather, I never thought of it like that. That's such a great way to think about our challenges!

    Beckie, I need to, too. Thanks for the reminder.

    Lisa, good point. Way to keep us realistic. :)