Monday, December 20, 2010

Just Say YES.

You've heard the saying, "Just Say NO." That's for drinking and drugs. In marriage, it's quite the opposite.  Not only is it helpful to get into the habit of saying YES but it's important to be joyful about doing things for your man.  Let take a look at what happens when you're not joyful.

Yesterday afternoon Steven was getting ready for work, and I was reading my favorite blog called The Pioneer Woman.  She had a Word Nerd contest going on, and I wanted to WIN!  I was busy researching the word for when two rivers intersect (confluence), and the name of the oak tree in the Swietokrztskie Mountains in Poland (Bartek), when Steven called out from the bathroom, "Hey Steph do you know where my rain gear is?" Frustrated that he didn't even know where his own stuff was, I lazily called back, "Yeah it's in the blue bag in the closet." Then I hear, "Can you get it for me please?"  I knew he was in a hurry, but in my head I was thinking...BUT BUT BUT.... I'm trying to win WORD NERD!

 I said I would, but kept on researching...oh interesting, ordnance is another word for artillery. Hmm!...

Time ticked on and I heard, "Hey have you made my sandwich yet?"- the one I volunteered to make for him - and that's when I snapped. ARGH!! Can't he do anything himself??? Why do I have to do everything for him?!?!  My retort was (and what a comeback), "Not yet, have you taken out the recycling?" as I'm looking at the overflowing container. Good one.

I found the rain gear, finished 2 sandwiches, and took out the recycling in a huff. He left for work as I stomped back up the stairs to our apartment to return to Word Nerd...on which I eventually gave up.

So let's recap -

I'm the one who volunteered to make him a sandwich.
I'm the queen of the house and I get to organize the closet how I like.

Why was I getting mad at him for asking about something I said I would do? Why was I so frustrated? Well, it really just boils down to the I's. I wanted to finish what I was doing instead of helping him for 5 minutes.  It was PB&J for goodness sakes.

So when your man asks you to do something, say YES but do it joyfully.

Here are some practical exercises for us:

Q: Honey, can you please make me a sandwich?  A: YES!
Q: Babe, can you take me to work? (It's 6:15 am) A: a groggy YES!
Q: Hey, can you do me a favor? A: ANYTHING!

Good. I think you'll be happy with the response you get. :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I'm New!

Ever since I got married about 6 1/2 months ago, I have been discovering so many things about God's gift of marriage - the Good, the GREAT, and the Challenging.  I was given many wise words of advice before I decided to tie the knot, but even still - every time I go through a new challenge, I think, "I wonder if anyone else has faced this same challenge before...who is that person so I can ask them what to do?"

A wise man once said:
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
 (Ecclesiastes 1:9 ESV) 

The question:
If there is nothing new under the sun, why do I not feel prepared for this?!?! 

The answers: 
1. It's not possible for anyone to tell you everything you should expect to face in becoming a help meet to a man. 
2. Part of the process of new marriage is working out the kinks on your own.

My goal is to give you some helpful hints that I came to discover in my own life through talking with God, talking with others, reading the Bible and other books, screaming, cooking, crying, sitting alone in silence, driving, and many other ways.  The point is, I eventually figured it out. And you will too. But maybe I can help you figure it out a little quicker.

Older women ... are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 
(Titus 2:3-5 ESV)

This verse is the focus of this blog. I want this to be a place where the more experienced women can have an opportunity to impart wisdom on us newbies!

I invite everyone to leave their comments here.  Whether you're married or not, we all have a lot to learn about being a wife.  Ask questions if you have them. Give direction if you can.

NOTE: This is by no means an opportunity for husband bashing. Someone just told me tonight: "Being a wife is all about finding ways to build up our husband."  So let's start building!